I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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