You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize