Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
