we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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