White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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