dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
