It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
