Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
