You made me cry and you don't even care
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize