batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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