Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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