I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
