my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
