do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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