Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
