Don't make out with my wife yet
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need water and some morals
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
