PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize