It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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