Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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