Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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