Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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