I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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