the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
