Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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