We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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