"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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