one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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