I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
