i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am one with the molecules
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
