Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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