OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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