just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
