forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
