so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
