margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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