wrigley field is MILF paradise
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we made out on top of his cat.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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