so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Randomize
