I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
