toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I won the penis lottery.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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