In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
