so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
