you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
