She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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