no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
