I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
