After last night, I could never be a politician.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
