She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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