Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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