I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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