We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
