i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
