I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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