Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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