Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
