just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
