This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Randomize
