Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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