Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
