I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
