he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
