you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
