I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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