And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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